How to Know If You’re Living on Autopilot (And How to Snap Out of It)

Help them recognize the signs and take action to break the cycle.

Let’s get real for a second: Have you ever felt like you’re stuck just going through the motions? Like life is happening to you, instead of for you? Days blur together, joy feels like a distant memory, and every task on your never-ending to-do list feels like another box to check off? That, my friend, is what living on autopilot looks like.

It’s a draining, unfulfilling way to exist—and yet so many of us are stuck in it. Why? Because life has a way of piling on responsibilities, distractions, and societal expectations until we lose touch with what really matters: us.

The good news? You can break out of autopilot mode. You can reclaim your joy, your purpose, and your passion. It starts with recognizing the signs, and I’m here to help you do just that. By the end of this blog post, you’ll not only know if you’re stuck on autopilot but also how to snap out of it and start living a life that feels truly, vibrantly alive.

And if you're ready to dive even deeper, grab my free guide: "5 Ways to Stop Living on Autopilot (And Start Feeling Alive Again)"—it’s packed with practical steps to reignite your spark and take back control of your life.

What Does Life on Autopilot Look Like?

Life on autopilot doesn’t announce itself with flashing neon signs. It’s not like you wake up one day and declare, “Today, I’m going to live without joy or purpose!” Instead, it sneaks up on you quietly, little by little, until one day you look around and wonder, How did I get here?

It often starts with small compromises. You skip that workout you love because your inbox is overflowing. You put your dreams on hold to meet someone else’s expectations. You stop asking yourself what you want because there’s no time to even think about it. And before you know it, your life feels like a series of monotonous tasks rather than a fulfilling journey.

Here are some unmistakable signs you might be stuck on autopilot:

• You have no idea what you want.
  You’re so used to taking care of everyone else—kids, partners, coworkers—that your own desires have taken a back seat. Scratch that, they’re not even in the car anymore. When was the last time you asked yourself, What do I want? And more importantly, when was the last time you answered?
• Your days blur together.
  Monday feels like Tuesday feels like Thursday. Weekdays and weekends merge into one exhausting loop, and you can’t remember the last time you did something that made your heart race in a good way. If your life feels like a never-ending Groundhog Day, this might be a sign.
• You haven’t felt genuine joy in a while.
  Remember when you used to laugh so hard your stomach hurt? Or when you’d feel that pure, unfiltered excitement about something? If you’re wondering where those moments went, it might be time to pause and take stock of what’s missing.
• You’re constantly checking boxes but never feel fulfilled.
  You’re busy—oh, so busy—but it’s the kind of busy that leaves you feeling empty. You get the groceries, finish the work report, clean the house, help the kids with homework, and crash into bed. Then you do it all over again. It’s like running on a treadmill: lots of effort, no forward motion.
• You feel disconnected from your purpose.
  Maybe you had a sense of purpose once—a dream, a passion, a “why” that drove you. But now? You’re not sure what it is anymore. Without that purpose to anchor you, life can start to feel hollow.
• You’re exhausted but not in a good way.
  There’s a difference between the tired satisfaction of a day well-lived and the soul-deep fatigue of constantly doing things that don’t light you up. If you’re the latter, that’s autopilot talking.

Ask Yourself These Questions

If you’re unsure whether you’re living on autopilot, these questions might give you some clarity:

1. If your younger self met you today, would she feel inspired or saddened by the life you’re living?
2. If someone asked you what truly lights you up, could you give them an answer?
3. Are you living the life you wanted, or just the life you thought you were supposed to have?
4. When was the last time you said “yes” to yourself without hesitation?
5. Do you feel a sense of purpose, or are you just checking boxes on an endless to-do list?
6. How do you feel when you wake up in the morning—excited, neutral, or dreading the day ahead?

Take a moment to reflect on your answers. If these questions stirred something in you, it might be time to make a change.

Why We Fall Into Autopilot Mode

Living on autopilot doesn’t happen overnight. It’s not like you wake up one day and decide to trade in your dreams for a life of endless to-do lists. No, autopilot sneaks in gradually. It’s the cumulative effect of societal pressures, unrealistic expectations, and years of putting everyone else first until there’s barely anything left for you.

Here’s how it happens:

1. Societal Expectations: The Trap of “Shoulds”

From an early age, we’re bombarded with messages about what success “should” look like. A big house, a fancy job title, a jam-packed schedule. These external markers of achievement are plastered all over social media, TV shows, and glossy magazines. But here’s the problem: Chasing those things often leaves us feeling empty because they don’t necessarily align with what we truly value.

When you’re constantly chasing society’s version of success, you lose sight of your own. You might be ticking off the “right” boxes—career milestones, family responsibilities, social obligations—but if those boxes don’t reflect your personal goals or desires, they’ll never bring fulfillment.

The Result? You end up running faster and faster toward a finish line that isn’t even yours.

2. The Busyness Trap: Busy ≠ Fulfilled

We live in a culture that celebrates being busy as if it’s a badge of honor. How often do we hear (or say), “I’m so busy” like it’s proof of our worth? But the truth is, being busy doesn’t mean being happy—or even productive.

The busyness trap keeps us focused on doing rather than being. When every moment of your day is filled with tasks, errands, and responsibilities, there’s little time left for reflection, connection, or joy. You’re so consumed with crossing things off your to-do list that you forget to ask if those things even matter.

The Result? You’re running on a hamster wheel, exhausted but going nowhere.

3. Fear of Change: Comfort in the Familiar

Here’s the thing about autopilot: It’s predictable. It’s safe. It doesn’t challenge you to confront the unknown, which can feel terrifying. Change, on the other hand, is messy and uncertain. It requires you to take risks, step into discomfort, and potentially fail.

So, we stick to what we know, even if it doesn’t make us happy. Autopilot may not be fulfilling, but at least it’s familiar. And sometimes, the fear of rocking the boat feels scarier than staying stuck.

The Result? You stay in a cycle of doing the same things over and over, even when they no longer serve you.

4. Neglecting Yourself: The Ultimate Burnout Recipe

For many of us, putting ourselves last has become second nature. We’ve been conditioned to prioritize others—our families, our jobs, our communities—at the expense of our own needs. Saying “no” feels selfish, so we keep saying “yes” until we’re stretched too thin to take care of ourselves.

When you’re constantly pouring into others without refilling your own cup, it’s no wonder you end up drained, disconnected, and running on fumes. Self-neglect isn’t just a bad habit—it’s a surefire way to end up living on autopilot.

The Result? You lose touch with who you are and what you need, making it even harder to break the cycle.

How to Snap Out of Autopilot and Reclaim Your Life

Breaking free from autopilot isn’t about a massive overhaul of your life—it’s about small, intentional shifts that help you reconnect with yourself. Here’s how to get started:

1. Reconnect With What Lights You Up
   Take time to rediscover your passions. What used to make you feel alive? What brings you joy?
   Try This: Journal for 10 minutes about the things you loved doing as a child or teenager. Then, pick one to revisit this week.
2. Set Non-Negotiable Time for Yourself
   Your needs are just as important as everyone else’s—treat them that way.
   Try This: Schedule one hour this week to do something purely for yourself, whether it’s reading, walking, or trying a new hobby.
3. Say Yes to What You Want (Without Guilt)
   Stop waiting for permission to prioritize yourself.
   Try This: Make a list of five things you’ve wanted to do but postponed. Choose one and commit to it this month.
4. Define Your Own Version of Success
   Forget what society says. What does success mean to YOU?
   Try This: Write down your top three values and brainstorm ways to better align your life with them.
5. Join a Supportive Community
   Transformation is easier when you’re surrounded by like-minded people who understand your journey.

This is where Soul on Fire, my high-performance coaching and community for women, comes in. Imagine connecting with other women who’ve felt exactly like you and are now reigniting their passion and purpose. Through live coaching, mastermind groups, and resources designed to help you thrive, Soul on Fire is your space to reconnect with yourself and your dreams.

Take the First Step Today

Ready to break free from autopilot and start feeling alive again? Download my free guide: "5 Ways to Stop Living on Autopilot (And Start Feeling Alive Again)." It’s packed with actionable steps to help you reconnect with what matters and create a life you love.

And when you’re ready for the next step, join Soul on Fire—because you don’t have to do this alone.

Conclusion

Living on autopilot isn’t living—it’s existing. But you have the power to change that. By recognizing the signs, reflecting on what you truly want, and taking intentional action, you can break free from the cycle and start living with purpose, passion, and joy.

You deserve a life that lights you up. So take that first step today. Grab the free guide, join the masterclass, and let’s reignite your spark together.

Because this is your life, and it’s time to start living it.